Now I know why God gave us memories--to carry us through days like today. I have so enjoyed thinking back over the years of Thanksgivings celebrated with extended family. All my growing up years there were aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents who would gather every year to celebrate. Only one thing I regret from those early years--my cousin Judi had me convinced that I would not like pumpkin pie but she was willing to take it off my hands. Not sure when I discovered that I really did like it--she owes me a lot of pie!
Tom had a rough night last night along with running a low grade fever. It was normal this morning but up again tonight. Not sure what is going on. With little sleep over night we both napped today. I am up much too late tonight but am enjoying putting remembrances of Tom into a book and lost track of the time. I will keep this entry short.
Kemp and Angie brought me a plate of tradition goodies which I thoroughly enjoyed. Tom pretended that his formula dinner was really turkey. The best part of our day was sitting and reading all the messages of thanksgiving for Tom from family and friends. Tom wrote that he was "overwhelmed" by what people shared. It is a beautiful thing to see a picture of a person painted with words. I love it that people can see into Tom for who he is--that he is so open and real, that he so genuinely loves and cares. (If you are reading this and would like to send in your thoughts about Tom I would love to add it to this work in progress. I plan to have the book ready to go to print by Dec 1. It's also fun to add a picture to go with your words.)
12 more days until the surgery--we are counting them down. But today we will end by saying again how thankful we are for so much in our lives--for our family, children, grandchildren, and dear friends who have become family. We thank God for each of you--gifts to treasure always. Most of all we are thankful for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ who binds us all together.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
What day is it anyway?
It's the end of Monday but so much has happened today that it feels more like Tuesday!
Our day was filled with many doctors visits. Kemp and Kylisa joined us to hear what they had to say. At 2:30 I think there were 7 doctors in our room to discuss the future. Last summer Tom had refused a procedure to surgically separate his trachea and esophagus. After experiencing the inability to breathe he was willing to listen again. The doctors patiently described the procedure and the pros and cons. Tom is considered a prime candidate for it since it would eliminate the possiblity of aspirating or choking. It would mean having a hole in the front of his neck but he would be able to put food in his mouth again to at least taste it without worrying about it going down the wrong pipe. When the doctors left we talked it over and Tom said he wanted to have it done. We let one of the doctors know and they got in touch with the doctor who does this surgery. We were amazed when he and his assistant came to our room at 6:00 pm to talk about it. He agreed that Tom was a prime candidate for the surgery. We asked when he would be able to do it. (We are concerned about going home and still having to deal with the problem of breathing.) The doctor said that there is a possibility he could do it TOMORROW IF he can work out the schedule. I asked Tom if that was too fast and he wrote, "Not fast enough." We are hoping and praying it will be tomorrow. We will know about noon.
Next cool thing--the doctor's assistant told us that just a few doors down was a woman who had the surgery done just last week. (The doctor told us he averages one of these per year!) We asked if we might be able to meet her and were given a positive response. We enjoyed meeting Lynn and Peter and now have new friends. They answered a lot of our questions and were very encouraging about the procedure.
Tom is sleeping. I have finally finished my lunch. The nurse was able to get me connected to the internet so I am feeling connected again. And now I will try to get some sleep, too, and wait to see what tomorrow will bring.
Our day was filled with many doctors visits. Kemp and Kylisa joined us to hear what they had to say. At 2:30 I think there were 7 doctors in our room to discuss the future. Last summer Tom had refused a procedure to surgically separate his trachea and esophagus. After experiencing the inability to breathe he was willing to listen again. The doctors patiently described the procedure and the pros and cons. Tom is considered a prime candidate for it since it would eliminate the possiblity of aspirating or choking. It would mean having a hole in the front of his neck but he would be able to put food in his mouth again to at least taste it without worrying about it going down the wrong pipe. When the doctors left we talked it over and Tom said he wanted to have it done. We let one of the doctors know and they got in touch with the doctor who does this surgery. We were amazed when he and his assistant came to our room at 6:00 pm to talk about it. He agreed that Tom was a prime candidate for the surgery. We asked when he would be able to do it. (We are concerned about going home and still having to deal with the problem of breathing.) The doctor said that there is a possibility he could do it TOMORROW IF he can work out the schedule. I asked Tom if that was too fast and he wrote, "Not fast enough." We are hoping and praying it will be tomorrow. We will know about noon.
Next cool thing--the doctor's assistant told us that just a few doors down was a woman who had the surgery done just last week. (The doctor told us he averages one of these per year!) We asked if we might be able to meet her and were given a positive response. We enjoyed meeting Lynn and Peter and now have new friends. They answered a lot of our questions and were very encouraging about the procedure.
Tom is sleeping. I have finally finished my lunch. The nurse was able to get me connected to the internet so I am feeling connected again. And now I will try to get some sleep, too, and wait to see what tomorrow will bring.
Just in time
It's always amazing how when God is teaching me something how he gives me the opportunity to practice it! On Wednesday I was listening to a Christian teacher on my way to my office--running late but arriving just as the speaker finished. He was talking about why we swing from trust to doubt in our relationship with God. He said we swing to the doubt side when we focus on the circumstances, when we feel weak, listen to our interpretation of our circumstances or the interpretation of others, or listen to the whispers of Satan. We swing back to trust when we remember the promises of God, recall the nature of God, ask God to show us His perspective, practice God centered prayer and wait on God (as opposed to "what can I do to fix it?").
The very next day i had such a struggle coping with ANYTHING. My focus had shifted to all that I lost and was losing. Anxious thoughts about the future filled my mind. My daughter invited me months ago to go with her and friends to a fun event on Saturday but now my head was saying that I shouldn't be having such "frivilous fun" when so much serious stuff was going on in the family and all around us.
The next day I thought about the lesson I had learned and thought about my Thursday--I had swung to the doubt side but sure didn't want to stay there. I started to think about the promises and nature of God. I asked His perspective and spent time just praising Him. It worked. My whole perspective changed and joy returned.
On Saturday morning Tom and I attended the memorial service for Vanessa. When we arrived we were delighted to see so many people from our past whose paths we rarely cross any more. Tom was his old gregarious self and I found it hard to keep up with him as he went from person to person greeting them with his hugs and expression of "it's so good to see you!" The service was a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman and the Jesus she loves. I wore pink because it was her favorite color and I thought (too late) how fun it would have been to suggest that everyone to wear her favorite color to her honor--she would have loved it!
On our way home Tom had difficulty breathing but when I asked him about going to a doctor to get it checked he said no, he just wanted to go home and get some sleep which we did. When he woke up 2 hours later he was gasping for air and I said that's it, we're going to the ER. We arrived at 4:30 pm and 12 hours later we were admitted to the hospital. Haven't pulled an all nighter in years--it's going to take awhile to catch up on that lost sleep. We knew god was in control when the doctor came in and told us that he understood what we were talking about because his father had ALS.
Tom had another breathing episode while in ER so thre doctor was able to see what we were talking about. Apparently it's not just the secretions that Tom has to battle but the muscles in the larynx are weakening and that is adding to his difficulties. It was decided that staying in the hosital through Monday and seeing several of our specialists was the way to go.
By Sunday the respiratory therapist had already helped us by teaching us new suction techniques. We were able to prevent several episodes from taking hold so that was good news. The other goal is to complete a medical directive or rather, confirm that the medical directive Tom has is what he still wants. Those converations will take place on Monday.
May God help us to think clearly, to seek His will for our lives and to rest in His peace and grace AND the knowledge that His Son has paid the price for our salvation. The promise of eternal life makes all the difference. May our lives truly reflect His presence with us and in us.
The very next day i had such a struggle coping with ANYTHING. My focus had shifted to all that I lost and was losing. Anxious thoughts about the future filled my mind. My daughter invited me months ago to go with her and friends to a fun event on Saturday but now my head was saying that I shouldn't be having such "frivilous fun" when so much serious stuff was going on in the family and all around us.
The next day I thought about the lesson I had learned and thought about my Thursday--I had swung to the doubt side but sure didn't want to stay there. I started to think about the promises and nature of God. I asked His perspective and spent time just praising Him. It worked. My whole perspective changed and joy returned.
On Saturday morning Tom and I attended the memorial service for Vanessa. When we arrived we were delighted to see so many people from our past whose paths we rarely cross any more. Tom was his old gregarious self and I found it hard to keep up with him as he went from person to person greeting them with his hugs and expression of "it's so good to see you!" The service was a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman and the Jesus she loves. I wore pink because it was her favorite color and I thought (too late) how fun it would have been to suggest that everyone to wear her favorite color to her honor--she would have loved it!
On our way home Tom had difficulty breathing but when I asked him about going to a doctor to get it checked he said no, he just wanted to go home and get some sleep which we did. When he woke up 2 hours later he was gasping for air and I said that's it, we're going to the ER. We arrived at 4:30 pm and 12 hours later we were admitted to the hospital. Haven't pulled an all nighter in years--it's going to take awhile to catch up on that lost sleep. We knew god was in control when the doctor came in and told us that he understood what we were talking about because his father had ALS.
Tom had another breathing episode while in ER so thre doctor was able to see what we were talking about. Apparently it's not just the secretions that Tom has to battle but the muscles in the larynx are weakening and that is adding to his difficulties. It was decided that staying in the hosital through Monday and seeing several of our specialists was the way to go.
By Sunday the respiratory therapist had already helped us by teaching us new suction techniques. We were able to prevent several episodes from taking hold so that was good news. The other goal is to complete a medical directive or rather, confirm that the medical directive Tom has is what he still wants. Those converations will take place on Monday.
May God help us to think clearly, to seek His will for our lives and to rest in His peace and grace AND the knowledge that His Son has paid the price for our salvation. The promise of eternal life makes all the difference. May our lives truly reflect His presence with us and in us.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Catching up
On Sunday evening Vanessa went home to be with the Lord. Vanessa is the wife of our worship leader at church. She plays the piano like few others. Sometimes I called her Brenda--which made us both laught. She had double pnemonia, H1N1 and other health issues. She is going to be very missed. The picture I have of Vanessa is sitting at a perfectly tuned piano using the incredible gift God gave her and playing to everyone's delight. Her fingers will work perfectly and she will have feeling in her feet. She will have no more pain. We grieve because we will miss her but she is with her Lord and Savior. What great joy!
Today Ruth suffered a stroke and aneurism. Ruth is in her 80s and full of wisdom. She is in Harborview where they hope to relieve the bleeding and get it stopped. Ruth is God's ambassador to so many of us. She speaks words of wisdom and encouragement. She calls just when you need her. If she could speak to us tonight I think she would be saying, "Don't worry about me. I'm safe with my Jesus. Remember how much He loves you." I pray that God will return her to us for awhile longer. I for one, am not ready to do life without her. I trust God with Ruth. I know she has absolute confidence in Him.
I haven't written for a long time. These two events have reminded me not to put off that which I consider important. For some reason writting has been difficult. I began several times but always deleted it. I need to write so this time I will hit "publish" and not delete no matter what.
Tom continues to battle the saliva. He has had two botox treatments. While I believe it is helping, the challenge is knowing what medication to give and how much. It's a guessing game. His sense of humor is still intact for which I will always be grateful. To say, "I love you", he touches my finger with his finger. Then one day he touched 2 fingers to 2 fingers. But the one I like is when he touched all 5 fingers to all 5 fingers. He still has lots of love to give and I'm soaking it up.
Haven't written since before our son's wedding. I don't think I've ever been to such a FUN celebration. Angie has an amazing eye for detail and did an outstanding job of planning and executing the weekend. The weather even cooperated--beautiful blue sky days. Tom did dance me down the aisle but turned in for the evening before we had a chance to dance on the dance floor. Being in a large group of people is difficult so after watching the wedding and spending some time with he dear friend, Bob, he was ready to call it a night. After helping him turn in I, however, returned to the festivities and thoroughly enjoyed the party. I even got to dance with my grandson Hunter and granddaughter Katie.
Two weeks ago I submitted my letter of retirement from Children's Ministry at the end of December. Eleven years ago God made it very clear that He was calling me into this ministry. He has now made it very clear that He is calling me out of it. I will miss it but I need to just focus on taking care of Tom right now. Multitasking just isn't as easy as it has been. I know God has a plan for us and will wait to see how He leads. Meanwhile I plan to take life one day at a time and hopefully live it to the fullest.
Today Ruth suffered a stroke and aneurism. Ruth is in her 80s and full of wisdom. She is in Harborview where they hope to relieve the bleeding and get it stopped. Ruth is God's ambassador to so many of us. She speaks words of wisdom and encouragement. She calls just when you need her. If she could speak to us tonight I think she would be saying, "Don't worry about me. I'm safe with my Jesus. Remember how much He loves you." I pray that God will return her to us for awhile longer. I for one, am not ready to do life without her. I trust God with Ruth. I know she has absolute confidence in Him.
I haven't written for a long time. These two events have reminded me not to put off that which I consider important. For some reason writting has been difficult. I began several times but always deleted it. I need to write so this time I will hit "publish" and not delete no matter what.
Tom continues to battle the saliva. He has had two botox treatments. While I believe it is helping, the challenge is knowing what medication to give and how much. It's a guessing game. His sense of humor is still intact for which I will always be grateful. To say, "I love you", he touches my finger with his finger. Then one day he touched 2 fingers to 2 fingers. But the one I like is when he touched all 5 fingers to all 5 fingers. He still has lots of love to give and I'm soaking it up.
Haven't written since before our son's wedding. I don't think I've ever been to such a FUN celebration. Angie has an amazing eye for detail and did an outstanding job of planning and executing the weekend. The weather even cooperated--beautiful blue sky days. Tom did dance me down the aisle but turned in for the evening before we had a chance to dance on the dance floor. Being in a large group of people is difficult so after watching the wedding and spending some time with he dear friend, Bob, he was ready to call it a night. After helping him turn in I, however, returned to the festivities and thoroughly enjoyed the party. I even got to dance with my grandson Hunter and granddaughter Katie.
Two weeks ago I submitted my letter of retirement from Children's Ministry at the end of December. Eleven years ago God made it very clear that He was calling me into this ministry. He has now made it very clear that He is calling me out of it. I will miss it but I need to just focus on taking care of Tom right now. Multitasking just isn't as easy as it has been. I know God has a plan for us and will wait to see how He leads. Meanwhile I plan to take life one day at a time and hopefully live it to the fullest.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Back to writing.
It's been a whole month with Kirstin and Yura AND Hunter and Maximus. We've settled into somewhat of a routine. Tom and I continue to be very grateful to be here. I especially have enjoyed getting to spend more time with grandboys. For some reason it's been harder for me to write--not sure what that's all about. Here are some things I have learned over the last few weeks.
For 40 years Tom and I have willingly done what was important to the other person. If one of us really wanted to do something, the other went along unless there was a really good reason. That has changed and it's taking some adjusting attitude. One night our flock group was getting together and I had REALLY been looking forward to it but Tom said he didn't feel well and didn't want to go. To my way of thinking he was using how he felt as an excuse and just didn't want to go. I called our friends to say we wouldn't be there and that Tom as being a "crabby old man". As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them but it took several days of seeking God's help and wisdom to understand what was going on between us and within myself. I've been spoiled. Tom has always taken such good care of me and I miss it. But then the very next day I was sitting in the porch swing rocking a sleeping Maximus. I reached for a pillow to put behind my head but it fell to the floor and I couldn't get it without disturbing M. Tom must have been watching through the window because here he came with a pillow and gently put it behind my head and gave me a gentle touch on my cheek. I know that Tom has all he can deal with and have decided that I will continue to invite him to participate and do things but the choice is his and I WILL NOT resent his saying "no". My goal right now is to be as supportive as I can be and allow him to make his own decisions--to be his wife and not his mother.
Last weekend we took the RV for an overnight to Oak Harbor to visit longtime friends. One of the best things was the way Norm spent talking with Tom one on one. He got Tom to communicate more than he's done in a long time. They both have health issues and were able to speak very openly with each other. It was a rare time and we left feeling very thankful for our time with them.
Last week Tom and I took Maximus to the zoo with our daughter Kylisa and he two boys. We were on the go for 2 hours and walking much of that time. Tom amazes me. He says he doesn't think he can walk very far and then he surprises us both. He enjoyed the animals. The giraffes were being very affectionate with each other rubbing their necks against each other and their faces. Tom wrote on his board: "They're necking!" Made us both laugh.
I've been on a 3 game winning streak in cribbage but today Tom is back in the winning circle. He's also back to doing jigsaw puzzles.
His biggest challenge continues to be managing saliva. We're hopeful that the doctor we're seeing in September will be able to help--wish it was sooner.
Kirstin and Yura took the boys to Lopez Island for the weekend with friends. While they were gone I had a great time tearing the kitchen apart and reorganizing all the cupboards. Kirstin is amazing at organizing other people but, like most of us, has found it hard to organize herself. She had given me permission to do whatever I wanted with it. I kept thinking I should stop but once I got going I just kept going. I said they would either love me or say that they would never leave me home alone again. They liked it! What a fun gift to give them.
I kept hoping that their chickens would be gone while they were gone but each day I got up and they had survived the night--phooey! I am still jealous of the real estate they have been given. I have to laugh when I think of growing up on a chicken farm where we had thousands of chickens and now here I am living with 2 more. I'm sure there's humor in there somewhere.
Other big treats were baking cookies with Hunter and his friend Grady and spending an evening with grandboys Jackson and Grayson. The funniest line of the night was 3 year old Jackson telling his grandmother that we couldn't play air hockey because it would be too loud for sleeping Grayson! While I thought that our move to Seattle was more for Tom to be near "action" I know now that it has been important for me, too. I love being with the grandchildren and how they make me feel.
God is good and I praise Him daily for His faithfulness and provision. I love seeing Him in the little things of life and don't want to miss any of it. I know there are many who uphold us in prayer and I know it's making a difference. It feels good to write again.
For 40 years Tom and I have willingly done what was important to the other person. If one of us really wanted to do something, the other went along unless there was a really good reason. That has changed and it's taking some adjusting attitude. One night our flock group was getting together and I had REALLY been looking forward to it but Tom said he didn't feel well and didn't want to go. To my way of thinking he was using how he felt as an excuse and just didn't want to go. I called our friends to say we wouldn't be there and that Tom as being a "crabby old man". As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them but it took several days of seeking God's help and wisdom to understand what was going on between us and within myself. I've been spoiled. Tom has always taken such good care of me and I miss it. But then the very next day I was sitting in the porch swing rocking a sleeping Maximus. I reached for a pillow to put behind my head but it fell to the floor and I couldn't get it without disturbing M. Tom must have been watching through the window because here he came with a pillow and gently put it behind my head and gave me a gentle touch on my cheek. I know that Tom has all he can deal with and have decided that I will continue to invite him to participate and do things but the choice is his and I WILL NOT resent his saying "no". My goal right now is to be as supportive as I can be and allow him to make his own decisions--to be his wife and not his mother.
Last weekend we took the RV for an overnight to Oak Harbor to visit longtime friends. One of the best things was the way Norm spent talking with Tom one on one. He got Tom to communicate more than he's done in a long time. They both have health issues and were able to speak very openly with each other. It was a rare time and we left feeling very thankful for our time with them.
Last week Tom and I took Maximus to the zoo with our daughter Kylisa and he two boys. We were on the go for 2 hours and walking much of that time. Tom amazes me. He says he doesn't think he can walk very far and then he surprises us both. He enjoyed the animals. The giraffes were being very affectionate with each other rubbing their necks against each other and their faces. Tom wrote on his board: "They're necking!" Made us both laugh.
I've been on a 3 game winning streak in cribbage but today Tom is back in the winning circle. He's also back to doing jigsaw puzzles.
His biggest challenge continues to be managing saliva. We're hopeful that the doctor we're seeing in September will be able to help--wish it was sooner.
Kirstin and Yura took the boys to Lopez Island for the weekend with friends. While they were gone I had a great time tearing the kitchen apart and reorganizing all the cupboards. Kirstin is amazing at organizing other people but, like most of us, has found it hard to organize herself. She had given me permission to do whatever I wanted with it. I kept thinking I should stop but once I got going I just kept going. I said they would either love me or say that they would never leave me home alone again. They liked it! What a fun gift to give them.
I kept hoping that their chickens would be gone while they were gone but each day I got up and they had survived the night--phooey! I am still jealous of the real estate they have been given. I have to laugh when I think of growing up on a chicken farm where we had thousands of chickens and now here I am living with 2 more. I'm sure there's humor in there somewhere.
Other big treats were baking cookies with Hunter and his friend Grady and spending an evening with grandboys Jackson and Grayson. The funniest line of the night was 3 year old Jackson telling his grandmother that we couldn't play air hockey because it would be too loud for sleeping Grayson! While I thought that our move to Seattle was more for Tom to be near "action" I know now that it has been important for me, too. I love being with the grandchildren and how they make me feel.
God is good and I praise Him daily for His faithfulness and provision. I love seeing Him in the little things of life and don't want to miss any of it. I know there are many who uphold us in prayer and I know it's making a difference. It feels good to write again.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
We are moved
Phew! The move is done and Sports Camp is finished and Tom and I are settling in and my brain feels like it's holding way too much stuff 'cause I just haven't had the energy/discipline to sit and write. It's amazing to me how thoughts accumulate. It's a good reminder just how much good therapy and release this blog spot gives me. So let's back up. . . . .
The week prior to July 11th was packing week. I still can't believe how much stuff we still have after several downsizings. It's also very freeing to realize how little of it is of much importance. The most fun has been when one of our children has expressed interest in something and we can give it to them. Then when we visit in their homes we get to enjoy THEM enjoying stuff we have enjoyed over the years. Saturday, July 11th was a warm, okay, HOT day. We rented a UHaul and hired 2 moving men to help us. Our children were also there to help and the move really went pretty smooth. The challenge was getting the boxes to the correct destinations--Kirstin's, storage or Kylisa's (for garage sale later).
The morning of the move I broke down in tears in the shower thinking that life as we had known it was now over and would never be the same and how would it all work. I believe God spoke to me and told me that every day we get up life is new and will never be the same. I had to agree and very quickly got over my panicky moment. Later that night Kirstin, Yura and I had dinner together. Kirstin and I had a good opportunity to talk and she expressed much the same panicky thoughts. It was good to talk it through and to agree that we would work hard to keep good lines of communication open. If something is bothering one of us and it has to do with the other we will share it. After those moments of anxious thoughts all seems to be going well. We are enjoying being close to our family. Tom especially looks forward to hanging out with Kemp in his new workshop. The first morning we woke up to the sounds of two year old Maximus' laughter--best sound in the world.
Last week was hard but good. It was hard for Tom to have me gone every night--didn't get home till 10:00 after camp each night. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking scheduling the move for the weekend before sports camp but now that it's done it's nice not to have to think about it any more. Camp went very well. I had great assistants. Two girls accepted Jesus as their Savior and Lord--a definite highlight that makes all the exhaustion worth it.
Tom has had very mixed days. He's expressed frustration can't talk, can't eat, can't drink" is what he wrote one day. At other times he is content. He is still beating me at cribbage. Together we are enjoying talking about and sharing
our footloose and carefree (kind of) new life.
The last few days I have been finishing unpacking and organizing AND catching up on rest. Tomorrow I will be back in the office hoping to work out a schedule that will work for all. Yesterday I was determined to begin walking with the hope of walking at least 5 out of 7 days. I finally headed to Greenlake about 6:30 pm and walked for about an hour but only covered about 2/3 of the 3 mile walk--that's my best guess and today best laid plans have taken a back seat to spending time with Kylisa and her boys. Enjoyed hanging out in her back yard with water and mud and lots of balls.
While walking yesterday I listened to a podcast. Ravi Zacharias is a wonderful speaker. He talked about looking through a person rather than at them; looking through a situation rather than at it. Interesting thought. When we look at a person we only see what the eyes can take in. When we look through them we see from God's perspective--His purpose and plan for their life. When we look at a situation we only see the problem or difficulty or pain. When we look through it we again see it from God's perspective--how He is working through it and how it will bring Him glory. That's not a very good summary and I don't know if it makes sense--I just know that yesterday the message was an encouragement.
So life is over as we have known it and will never be the same. And that's not a bad thing. What is the same is who we trust with our lives and that's all that really matters. He is faithful and trust worthy. We're in good hands.
The week prior to July 11th was packing week. I still can't believe how much stuff we still have after several downsizings. It's also very freeing to realize how little of it is of much importance. The most fun has been when one of our children has expressed interest in something and we can give it to them. Then when we visit in their homes we get to enjoy THEM enjoying stuff we have enjoyed over the years. Saturday, July 11th was a warm, okay, HOT day. We rented a UHaul and hired 2 moving men to help us. Our children were also there to help and the move really went pretty smooth. The challenge was getting the boxes to the correct destinations--Kirstin's, storage or Kylisa's (for garage sale later).
The morning of the move I broke down in tears in the shower thinking that life as we had known it was now over and would never be the same and how would it all work. I believe God spoke to me and told me that every day we get up life is new and will never be the same. I had to agree and very quickly got over my panicky moment. Later that night Kirstin, Yura and I had dinner together. Kirstin and I had a good opportunity to talk and she expressed much the same panicky thoughts. It was good to talk it through and to agree that we would work hard to keep good lines of communication open. If something is bothering one of us and it has to do with the other we will share it. After those moments of anxious thoughts all seems to be going well. We are enjoying being close to our family. Tom especially looks forward to hanging out with Kemp in his new workshop. The first morning we woke up to the sounds of two year old Maximus' laughter--best sound in the world.
Last week was hard but good. It was hard for Tom to have me gone every night--didn't get home till 10:00 after camp each night. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking scheduling the move for the weekend before sports camp but now that it's done it's nice not to have to think about it any more. Camp went very well. I had great assistants. Two girls accepted Jesus as their Savior and Lord--a definite highlight that makes all the exhaustion worth it.
Tom has had very mixed days. He's expressed frustration can't talk, can't eat, can't drink" is what he wrote one day. At other times he is content. He is still beating me at cribbage. Together we are enjoying talking about and sharing
our footloose and carefree (kind of) new life.
The last few days I have been finishing unpacking and organizing AND catching up on rest. Tomorrow I will be back in the office hoping to work out a schedule that will work for all. Yesterday I was determined to begin walking with the hope of walking at least 5 out of 7 days. I finally headed to Greenlake about 6:30 pm and walked for about an hour but only covered about 2/3 of the 3 mile walk--that's my best guess and today best laid plans have taken a back seat to spending time with Kylisa and her boys. Enjoyed hanging out in her back yard with water and mud and lots of balls.
While walking yesterday I listened to a podcast. Ravi Zacharias is a wonderful speaker. He talked about looking through a person rather than at them; looking through a situation rather than at it. Interesting thought. When we look at a person we only see what the eyes can take in. When we look through them we see from God's perspective--His purpose and plan for their life. When we look at a situation we only see the problem or difficulty or pain. When we look through it we again see it from God's perspective--how He is working through it and how it will bring Him glory. That's not a very good summary and I don't know if it makes sense--I just know that yesterday the message was an encouragement.
So life is over as we have known it and will never be the same. And that's not a bad thing. What is the same is who we trust with our lives and that's all that really matters. He is faithful and trust worthy. We're in good hands.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Can't sleep
I can't sleep. It's 1:00 am and my brain is on overload thinking of all that needs to happen for this move on Saturday. I'm having to decide what to take with us, what to get rid of and what to put in storage. It's the storage part that is making me crazy. There's an spoken reality to it that I can't even talk about now. In the midst of this disease it seems as though it will be like what it is today forever and we will just live with it and that's okay but then you read about the disease and they keep saying it's progressive and I just want it to stop!
The last few days I have been so on the go that I haven't stopped to spend much time in God's word and to listen for what He is saying and I can really feel it. Just before signing on here I read a devotion that comes to my email and it was a good reminder of how dependent we are on Him. It comes from Adrian Rogers.
Dependence on God - a Witness of His Power
BIBLE MEDITATION:2 Corinthians 4:7 - "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us."
DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:If you’re like most people, you don’t realize your dependency on God until you’re burned out from stress — either self-induced or caused by circumstances beyond your control. Why is that? Paul says it’s because we are fragile, but he doesn’t stop there. He says that God made us this way so that His power may be known through us! Maybe someone told you, “Oh, just tie a knot and hang on!” Sometimes God wants us to let go of the rope because it is keeping us tied down to our destructive habits. We are totally dependent on God so that the love of His Son may be made known to the world.
ACTION POINT: Get a piece of rope and tie a knot in it. Let it sit on your desk this week as a reminder that God is more than just a knot at the end of the rope; He is the Savior of the World!
Earlier today I took my car in to be serviced and then took a shuttle back to Kirstin's house. The driver turned out to be a Christian who asked about our life and when I told him what was happening he said he would be praying. I am so thankful for all who are so faithful to pray.
Something to be thankful for is the yeast infection Tom's body has been fighting seems to be on its way out! YEAH! It's really played havoc with him and makes his throat burn. Hopefully it will clear up completely and stay away!
OK, I'm going to go back to bed and hopefully fall asleep soon. I just don't want to think anymore--thoughts in the middle of the night can be so confusing.
The last few days I have been so on the go that I haven't stopped to spend much time in God's word and to listen for what He is saying and I can really feel it. Just before signing on here I read a devotion that comes to my email and it was a good reminder of how dependent we are on Him. It comes from Adrian Rogers.
Dependence on God - a Witness of His Power
BIBLE MEDITATION:2 Corinthians 4:7 - "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us."
DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:If you’re like most people, you don’t realize your dependency on God until you’re burned out from stress — either self-induced or caused by circumstances beyond your control. Why is that? Paul says it’s because we are fragile, but he doesn’t stop there. He says that God made us this way so that His power may be known through us! Maybe someone told you, “Oh, just tie a knot and hang on!” Sometimes God wants us to let go of the rope because it is keeping us tied down to our destructive habits. We are totally dependent on God so that the love of His Son may be made known to the world.
ACTION POINT: Get a piece of rope and tie a knot in it. Let it sit on your desk this week as a reminder that God is more than just a knot at the end of the rope; He is the Savior of the World!
Earlier today I took my car in to be serviced and then took a shuttle back to Kirstin's house. The driver turned out to be a Christian who asked about our life and when I told him what was happening he said he would be praying. I am so thankful for all who are so faithful to pray.
Something to be thankful for is the yeast infection Tom's body has been fighting seems to be on its way out! YEAH! It's really played havoc with him and makes his throat burn. Hopefully it will clear up completely and stay away!
OK, I'm going to go back to bed and hopefully fall asleep soon. I just don't want to think anymore--thoughts in the middle of the night can be so confusing.
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