Christmas eve

Where did I leave off--oh, yes, we were having a quiet day. . .until about 4:00 when Tom was having difficulty breathing. Talked to Merati's nurse who said to put the tube back in. Easier said than done but we had the choice of me doing it OR taking him to ER. Dr. Merati wanted to see us the next morning. I knew that I would be more gentle so as hard as it was we got it back in. Tom felt immediate relief and we had a fairly good night.

Today is Christmas eve. We began it at the UW Med Center. It was decided to try an even shorter tube, use it during the night and try to keep it out as much as possible during the day. They also put him back on antibiotics for 5 days. We're still hopeful that the lesions in the trach will heal soon.

About 1:00 we headed over to Kylisa and Chris' house for our Christmas eve celebration. We enjoy nothing more than being with our children and grandchildren. It's strange to not be a part of the cooking this year but I had no energy for it and the kids are so capable. Very satisfying to watch the next generation take over and enjoy doing it. Love seeing them all get along so well and enjoy each other.

He, too, enjoyed the afternoon. Though when it got too loud he took some time out and slept. We came home about 7:00. He is fed, had his meds and is settled in for the night. I am close behind him but first will enjoy a cup of sleepy tea courtesy of daughter April. Tom was not up to going to our Christmas eve service tonight--it would have been a very long day for him. We both miss not being there. I am watching a wonderful Christmas concert on tv. Just goes to show that there are many ways to celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. I love Christmas music--such a story to tell, such a wonderful God we serve who cared enough to send His Son so we could know Him better and be invited into such an intimate relationship for all eternity. What peace.

Peace--I laughed today when Tom wrote that he wanted "peace meds." I had to stop and think what he was talking about. Oh, yeah--I had been calling the lorazapan "calming drugs". I like Tom's name better! The other thing he enjoys writing is, "this surgical procedure was not a pain in the ass but a pain in the neck!" Yes, it does sound just like Tom! And I don't even want to censor him! I'm loving "hearing" every word he "speaks".

A friend shared something she learned in her grief support group. Someone there said, "don't worry about what's coming. Just do the next thing." I've been thinking alot about that--it's becoming a way of life--just doing the next thing--can't think much beyond it. Just good to hear someone say that that's enough.