Not the day we expected

This was not what we had planned for today! This morning while giving Tom his meds through his feeding tube the tube got blocked. While trying to unblock it the tube sprung a bubble in an apparent weak spot. Back to finding out who would handle a tube problem--call #4 said we should go to emergency which we did. Arrived about 9:30. The doctor couldn't get it unblocked either so he sent Tom to radiology which put the tube in and they replaced the whole tube. It was very painful because Tom is just getting over an infection at the tube site--OUCH! We finally got home at 4:00. A long day but it's good that Tom's tube will be in good shape when we take off for a few days next week!

Had a great time camping with our RV friends/home fellowship group at Thunderbird--a camp ground near Monroe. It was nice not to have to drive too far but still get away and enjoy some RV time. The hard part is that when we get together much of our time is spent talking and eating--the two activities that are the most difficult for Tom. He was glad we went and it was a good practice run before we take off on our own for the Oregon coast. It's just so hard to know how much he wants to interact but it's so much work. Hoping the "talk box" will help AND that it comes soon. We're excited that our grandson Hunter is going to go to Oregon with us AND that our friends, George, Robin and Gabby will join us there.

One of the most memorable moments for me this weekend was the time I spent opening my Bible. There was a bookmark in it that I remember seeing in the past but don't remember reading it. What I read was so right on for where we are right now. And then to top it off, it was stuck in at Psalm 143 and when I read THAT Psalm I knew I had found exactly what I need for this time in life. I made some notes that I want to keep, thoughts that struck me as I read these words of David from so long ago. I don't want to forget how God spoke to me and encouraged me. The words in blue are my words in response to the words from the Bible.

1 Hear my prayer, O Lord; listen to my plea! Answer me because you are faithful and righteous.

Thank you for the assurance that you do listen and will hear me when I come to you. You are faithful at all times--even when I don't understand.

2 Don't bring your servant to trial! Compared to you, no one is perfect.

I DON'T LIKE THIS!!!! I know I am not up to this trial in my own power. I'm so full of imperfection next to your perfection.

3 My enemy has chased me. He has knocked me to the ground. He forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave.

ALS, FEAR, ANXIETY, IMPATIENCE are my enemies.

4 I am losing all hope; I am paralyzed with fear.

The paralyzing anxiety I felt in the grocery store when even deciding on what to get for lunch was totally overwhelming. The memory of wanting to scream as loud as I could haunts me. The times it feels like I have been punched in the stomach and it's hard to catch my breath.

5 I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works. I think about what you have done.

I remember all the times you've shown up in my life, all the ways you have worked in the past. Thank you that we have those times TOGETHER--they bring assurance of how You work and how much you care.

6 I reach out for you. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.

As never before, I hunger and thirst for YOU in the midst of this trial. In "easy" times it's easy to go my own way. In the "hard" times it's hard to stay away from You.

7 Come quickly, LORD, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don't turn away from me, or I will die.

Without YOU all hope would die. What do people do who don't have YOU--where do they go, who do they lean on? I don't ever want to experience the absence of YOU in my life. You are my only hope.

8 Let me hear of your unfailing love to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I have come to you in prayer.

Your love and mercy ARE new every morning. Yesterday is a memory and a reminder of your faithfulness. Tomorrow is a hope. Today I experience YOU and it's new every morning. Give me the strengh for THIS day. Help me to trust you THIS day. Help my unbelief when it shows up THIS day. Give me your direction and guidance and then help me to trust and obey THIS day. Tomorrow I'll ask you again!

9 Save me from my enemies, LORD; I run to you to hide me.

Bury me in your arms--the only place of total peace and protection--what an incredibly comforting picture.

10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.

In Your will is where I long to live. Your gracious Spirit is full of patience so when it takes many tries to "get it," keep after me. Help me to stay on firm footing--to stay on the Rock.

11 For the glory of your name, O LORD, save me. In your righteousness, bring me out of this distress.

Yours is the glory--may all the honor be Yours for what You are doing. May You shine thru my life and show others Your love, care and faithfulness.

12 In your unfailing love, cut off all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.

The enemies of fear and anxiety, of ALS robbing me of my husband. In the midst of all that there is YOU.

This is what is written on the bookmark:

"Be at peace. Do not fear the changes of life. Rather look to them with full hope as they arise. God, whose very own you are, will deliver you out of them. he has kept you hitherto, and He will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand it, God will bury you in His arms. Do not be afraid of what may happen tomorrow; the same everlastingFather who cares for you today will take care of you then and everyday. He will either shield you from suffering, or will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations." (St. Francis de Sales)