Jam packed weekend

It amazes me how something that is affecting our emotions can have such a physical impact! For most of the weekend I had this feeling that there was a heaviness resting on me. It was like when you go to the dentist and they put that heavy, protective apron on you when they exray your teeth. It felt like I was carrying around that apron and it covered my whole body, even my head. I just couldn't get out from under it. I think that Barb is right when she says that the urge to scream was my brain getting its hands around the reality of what is going on--it helps to know that someone else has experienced it and can say that it will pass. While under it I was having doubts that I could carry on any of my responsibilities and felt like a river of anxiety was washing over me. Could I get my head out of the water or was I going to drown? Couldn't write in the middle of it--just kept getting pushed down.

Then yesterday--good timing! First, at church I was back with the kids for the first time in weeks and it felt sooooo good--just to be in their busy, free spirited world and have fun with them. Then it was off for a short stay at a baby shower for Tracey and Peter. Can't wait to see Tracey holding her little Gracie, the baby she's longed for for so long. AND to see her try to dress Gracie in ALL the outfits grandma Marilyn has had such fun buying! THEN it was off to Kemp and Angie's to see all the work they have done on their backyard, to hear plans for what they are going to do with the house AND to get in a 20 minute nap. THEN it was off to Carkeek Park for family photos! 17 of us ALL at the same place at the same time! We actually did it and hopefully we got some good shots. THEN it was back to Kirstin and Yura's for a barbecue to celebrate Katie's birthday AND for Tom to lay down. He said he enjoyed hearing all the family conversation swirling around him.

Tom seemed very somber for most of the day but when I would ask him how he felt he assured me he was fine and last night he said how much he enjoyed being with everyone. He loves his family so much--we couldn't ask for better! I love watching how each one cares for Tom in their own way.

In the midst of the day Kylisa asked me if the dentist's apron was still on and I was delighted to answer, no, it's hanging on the wall! Don't know when it was lifted but it sure felt good to have it gone.

The Sunday devotion really spoke to me. I'll share it.
Even there shall Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand shall hold me. Psalm 139:10
Devotional thought:
"I've heard people say, "Pray for us that we'll hold out faithful to the end." I think I know what they mean, but I always smile. I picture Noah's ark, and I can see Noah and his wife and family. Rather than being on the inside, they're holding on to some slimy pegs on the outside of the ark. And Noah says to Mrs. Noah, "Honey, pray for methat I'll hold out faithful to the end." But God said to noah, "Come into the ark," and the same God that shut the water out, shut Noah in. Now Noah may have fallen down inside that ark, but he never fell out of it. It's not that wehold on to Him, but that He holds on to us."

What great assurance--it doesn't depend on me; it depends on the One I depend on!