Phew! The move is done and Sports Camp is finished and Tom and I are settling in and my brain feels like it's holding way too much stuff 'cause I just haven't had the energy/discipline to sit and write. It's amazing to me how thoughts accumulate. It's a good reminder just how much good therapy and release this blog spot gives me. So let's back up. . . . .
The week prior to July 11th was packing week. I still can't believe how much stuff we still have after several downsizings. It's also very freeing to realize how little of it is of much importance. The most fun has been when one of our children has expressed interest in something and we can give it to them. Then when we visit in their homes we get to enjoy THEM enjoying stuff we have enjoyed over the years. Saturday, July 11th was a warm, okay, HOT day. We rented a UHaul and hired 2 moving men to help us. Our children were also there to help and the move really went pretty smooth. The challenge was getting the boxes to the correct destinations--Kirstin's, storage or Kylisa's (for garage sale later).
The morning of the move I broke down in tears in the shower thinking that life as we had known it was now over and would never be the same and how would it all work. I believe God spoke to me and told me that every day we get up life is new and will never be the same. I had to agree and very quickly got over my panicky moment. Later that night Kirstin, Yura and I had dinner together. Kirstin and I had a good opportunity to talk and she expressed much the same panicky thoughts. It was good to talk it through and to agree that we would work hard to keep good lines of communication open. If something is bothering one of us and it has to do with the other we will share it. After those moments of anxious thoughts all seems to be going well. We are enjoying being close to our family. Tom especially looks forward to hanging out with Kemp in his new workshop. The first morning we woke up to the sounds of two year old Maximus' laughter--best sound in the world.
Last week was hard but good. It was hard for Tom to have me gone every night--didn't get home till 10:00 after camp each night. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking scheduling the move for the weekend before sports camp but now that it's done it's nice not to have to think about it any more. Camp went very well. I had great assistants. Two girls accepted Jesus as their Savior and Lord--a definite highlight that makes all the exhaustion worth it.
Tom has had very mixed days. He's expressed frustration can't talk, can't eat, can't drink" is what he wrote one day. At other times he is content. He is still beating me at cribbage. Together we are enjoying talking about and sharing
our footloose and carefree (kind of) new life.
The last few days I have been finishing unpacking and organizing AND catching up on rest. Tomorrow I will be back in the office hoping to work out a schedule that will work for all. Yesterday I was determined to begin walking with the hope of walking at least 5 out of 7 days. I finally headed to Greenlake about 6:30 pm and walked for about an hour but only covered about 2/3 of the 3 mile walk--that's my best guess and today best laid plans have taken a back seat to spending time with Kylisa and her boys. Enjoyed hanging out in her back yard with water and mud and lots of balls.
While walking yesterday I listened to a podcast. Ravi Zacharias is a wonderful speaker. He talked about looking through a person rather than at them; looking through a situation rather than at it. Interesting thought. When we look at a person we only see what the eyes can take in. When we look through them we see from God's perspective--His purpose and plan for their life. When we look at a situation we only see the problem or difficulty or pain. When we look through it we again see it from God's perspective--how He is working through it and how it will bring Him glory. That's not a very good summary and I don't know if it makes sense--I just know that yesterday the message was an encouragement.
So life is over as we have known it and will never be the same. And that's not a bad thing. What is the same is who we trust with our lives and that's all that really matters. He is faithful and trust worthy. We're in good hands.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Can't sleep
I can't sleep. It's 1:00 am and my brain is on overload thinking of all that needs to happen for this move on Saturday. I'm having to decide what to take with us, what to get rid of and what to put in storage. It's the storage part that is making me crazy. There's an spoken reality to it that I can't even talk about now. In the midst of this disease it seems as though it will be like what it is today forever and we will just live with it and that's okay but then you read about the disease and they keep saying it's progressive and I just want it to stop!
The last few days I have been so on the go that I haven't stopped to spend much time in God's word and to listen for what He is saying and I can really feel it. Just before signing on here I read a devotion that comes to my email and it was a good reminder of how dependent we are on Him. It comes from Adrian Rogers.
Dependence on God - a Witness of His Power
BIBLE MEDITATION:2 Corinthians 4:7 - "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us."
DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:If you’re like most people, you don’t realize your dependency on God until you’re burned out from stress — either self-induced or caused by circumstances beyond your control. Why is that? Paul says it’s because we are fragile, but he doesn’t stop there. He says that God made us this way so that His power may be known through us! Maybe someone told you, “Oh, just tie a knot and hang on!” Sometimes God wants us to let go of the rope because it is keeping us tied down to our destructive habits. We are totally dependent on God so that the love of His Son may be made known to the world.
ACTION POINT: Get a piece of rope and tie a knot in it. Let it sit on your desk this week as a reminder that God is more than just a knot at the end of the rope; He is the Savior of the World!
Earlier today I took my car in to be serviced and then took a shuttle back to Kirstin's house. The driver turned out to be a Christian who asked about our life and when I told him what was happening he said he would be praying. I am so thankful for all who are so faithful to pray.
Something to be thankful for is the yeast infection Tom's body has been fighting seems to be on its way out! YEAH! It's really played havoc with him and makes his throat burn. Hopefully it will clear up completely and stay away!
OK, I'm going to go back to bed and hopefully fall asleep soon. I just don't want to think anymore--thoughts in the middle of the night can be so confusing.
The last few days I have been so on the go that I haven't stopped to spend much time in God's word and to listen for what He is saying and I can really feel it. Just before signing on here I read a devotion that comes to my email and it was a good reminder of how dependent we are on Him. It comes from Adrian Rogers.
Dependence on God - a Witness of His Power
BIBLE MEDITATION:2 Corinthians 4:7 - "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us."
DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:If you’re like most people, you don’t realize your dependency on God until you’re burned out from stress — either self-induced or caused by circumstances beyond your control. Why is that? Paul says it’s because we are fragile, but he doesn’t stop there. He says that God made us this way so that His power may be known through us! Maybe someone told you, “Oh, just tie a knot and hang on!” Sometimes God wants us to let go of the rope because it is keeping us tied down to our destructive habits. We are totally dependent on God so that the love of His Son may be made known to the world.
ACTION POINT: Get a piece of rope and tie a knot in it. Let it sit on your desk this week as a reminder that God is more than just a knot at the end of the rope; He is the Savior of the World!
Earlier today I took my car in to be serviced and then took a shuttle back to Kirstin's house. The driver turned out to be a Christian who asked about our life and when I told him what was happening he said he would be praying. I am so thankful for all who are so faithful to pray.
Something to be thankful for is the yeast infection Tom's body has been fighting seems to be on its way out! YEAH! It's really played havoc with him and makes his throat burn. Hopefully it will clear up completely and stay away!
OK, I'm going to go back to bed and hopefully fall asleep soon. I just don't want to think anymore--thoughts in the middle of the night can be so confusing.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Back from Oregon
Just back from celebrating the 4th with friends on Whidbey Island. It was good being with friends. It's hard watching Tom--how this enemy of ours has robbed him--free, laugh filled conversation, fellowship over a shared meal, long walks on the beach. Something else is how much we have enjoyed each other's touch and now touch often bothers him. I long to just hold him but he's not comfortable with that--I greive that lost greatly. I think back to a year ago being at the same place with many of the same people and how different it is this year--how quickly life changes. Tonight we will be home just enjoying being together.
Yesterday we spent the day at Kirstin's caring for Moose while Kirstin and Yura finished painting their new bedroom. I cannot stop being grateful for the gift they are giving us. The model of multiple generations living together is such an old one and already I am starting to see the precious value of it. I've had many emotions in getting ready for this but after yesterday I feel nothing but anticipation of something very good. They are doing a wonderful job of making us feel welcome--simple things like clearing space for us and positive talk of our lives together. There are things none of us can bring ourselves to say about this move. We are all just embracing it as a way to make Tom's life the very best. May God help us to do just that.
Last evening Kylisa came over and we began packing. Tom and I have moved many times and it's never overwhelmed me before but without Kylisa last night I don't know where I would have begun. In fact, before she came I couldn't see that we had much to do--I know better now. She was so good at giving direction and taking charge. I am so thankful for these children who have grown into such amazing adults, who have stepped in to take charge and give such loving care at this time in our lives. Tom and I both thank God for the gift of each one.
Our vacation to Oregon was fun. It was great having grandson Hunter with us--even though he takes GREAT delight in scaring his ol' granny! I tell him he is going to be sorry someday when I have a heart attack over one of his scares--he just laughs and plans his next forray. It was great b eing with the Phillips and I am thankful for George taking the time to get Tom to "talk" with him.
One of Tom's favorite memories is visiting the Flavel House in Astoria--built in 1885 it is such a beautiful old house and such a good lesson in history. We also spent an afternoon in Seaside. When the walk became more than Tom could do our friends suggested a wheelchair. I didn't know how Tom would react but he was okay with it and we were able to keep going all the way to the beach. I'm glad he was receptive to it BUT it's such a reminder of how much stamina he has lost--something else this enemy has taken. God give us strength to face whatever comes and to stay focused on today alone. We also visited and enjoyed the Tillamook Cheese Factory--but again it centered around food! All I can say is that Tom is amazing to be so uncomplaining!
Yesterday we spent the day at Kirstin's caring for Moose while Kirstin and Yura finished painting their new bedroom. I cannot stop being grateful for the gift they are giving us. The model of multiple generations living together is such an old one and already I am starting to see the precious value of it. I've had many emotions in getting ready for this but after yesterday I feel nothing but anticipation of something very good. They are doing a wonderful job of making us feel welcome--simple things like clearing space for us and positive talk of our lives together. There are things none of us can bring ourselves to say about this move. We are all just embracing it as a way to make Tom's life the very best. May God help us to do just that.
Last evening Kylisa came over and we began packing. Tom and I have moved many times and it's never overwhelmed me before but without Kylisa last night I don't know where I would have begun. In fact, before she came I couldn't see that we had much to do--I know better now. She was so good at giving direction and taking charge. I am so thankful for these children who have grown into such amazing adults, who have stepped in to take charge and give such loving care at this time in our lives. Tom and I both thank God for the gift of each one.
Our vacation to Oregon was fun. It was great having grandson Hunter with us--even though he takes GREAT delight in scaring his ol' granny! I tell him he is going to be sorry someday when I have a heart attack over one of his scares--he just laughs and plans his next forray. It was great b eing with the Phillips and I am thankful for George taking the time to get Tom to "talk" with him.
One of Tom's favorite memories is visiting the Flavel House in Astoria--built in 1885 it is such a beautiful old house and such a good lesson in history. We also spent an afternoon in Seaside. When the walk became more than Tom could do our friends suggested a wheelchair. I didn't know how Tom would react but he was okay with it and we were able to keep going all the way to the beach. I'm glad he was receptive to it BUT it's such a reminder of how much stamina he has lost--something else this enemy has taken. God give us strength to face whatever comes and to stay focused on today alone. We also visited and enjoyed the Tillamook Cheese Factory--but again it centered around food! All I can say is that Tom is amazing to be so uncomplaining!
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